1- I’m terribly insecure. I am way too consumed by what people think about me. I could list you stories for days of the stress it has put on me. This is something I’m really trying to give up especially before Hutton gets here. In the past I have let myself get physically sick over the thoughts of someone being mad at me or thinking I look bad. Deep down I have to get over this idea that I’m not good enough for… (Insert whatever it may be.) Part of this is truly learning to walk into the person that God made me to be and not try to be someone else or try to change for someone’s benefit.
2- I have always wanted to be a writer, even since I was very little. I learned to read very quickly and at the age of 5 would sit down with my grandfather (Papaw) and read the newspaper. I grew up consumed in books and the love my mother had of children’s books was passed on to me. My deepest desire would be to write a children’s fiction novel. In addition, over the past year I have had this new desire of songwriting. First let me clear something up, I have NO musical talent. I leave that field all up to my AMAZINGLY talented husband. What I do love about music are the lyrics and I have this passion to write songs that truly mean something to me and other people would love. I’ve actually written some songs- I’ve only shared them with a few out there in the world but they do exist.
3- I’m terrified of becoming a Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond thrilled. I’m just nervous about remembering all the important details during those first few weeks. Then beyond that I’m worried about the 18 years following that! This pregnancy thing seems busy and Hutton’s not even here yet!
4- Part of me wants to move away from Montgomery. Now, if/when it ever comes down to this I don’t know how I would feel because both Chris and my families are here and I love that. At the same time though I have lived in Montgomery my whole life and I only went away to Auburn from 2004-2006. There is so much out there and so many places and I just wonder what it would be like to move to a new place and really not know anybody and just start over!
5- I have so many fears! Fears of scary movies, fears of flying, fears of dying, I could go on and on! It is really a bad thing. If you tell me about something bad happening to someone else, my fearful side kicks in and I imagine it happening to me and will then worry about it. I must work on this!!
6- I LoVe to shop. Some of you may know this about me but it’s definitely a sickness. My only excuse is that I don’t only love to shop for me, I love to shop for anyone and everyone. Gift giving is one of my favorites and I love to pick out things that I think people will love. When Chris and I got married and I told him we needed a place in our budget for random gift giving (not birthdays, Christmas, showers, etc.) he was VERY confused!
7- I wish I could sing. I love to sing- all day long. I sing to Jacks, I sing to Hutton, Chris hears me sing. The only problem is I can’t sing in tune AT ALL! I used to be really embarrassed about my lack of singing ability. So much that the first 6 months Chris and I dated I wouldn’t even sing around him AT ALL. EVER. NADA. ZILCH.
8- Half of my job involves speaking in front of people. The last job I had almost 95% involved speaking in front of people. I think I’m scared of speaking in front of people. That sounds weird I know as I say “I think.” This is the issue- I don’t feel scared or nervous but suddenly when I start talking I can feel my face getting red from blushing and I can feel my voice trembling. Why? I have no idea!
9- I’m an organization freak! I dream of those closets where everything is labeled and perfectly in its place. I want a pantry where everything has its bin/container to be placed and nothing is ever out of sorts. My clothes are broken down into dresses/skirts/pants/tops and then color coded within those categories.
10- I love to make lists and I live by them. Maybe that is why I decided to devote a whole day of my blog each week to a list!
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