Heavy Heart

  Yes I had every good intention of getting my Sunday series post out yesterday. Yes I did the research. Yes it was just too busy for me to sit down and actually write the blog post. Therefore, it will appear next Sunday (with a little Mother's Day tribute as well)

Today my heart is very heavy. We had a full weekend that was mostly full of laughs, smiles, and lots of fun times. Unfortunately, it was also filled with many many tears. Yesterday morning we went to church for Brad and Rachel's last Sunday. I must say that it was the best sermon I've heard Brad preach and I think he's an amazing preacher. Tears welled up in my eyes from the beginning of the music. I've never known St. James without Brad and Rachel and I can without doubt say that their family and friendship has changed who I am as a person. So throughout the music, the sermon, communion, and reception I was filled with emotions, memories, sadness, but stilll a great deal of happiness for the future that is ahead for them. I am also thankful that I know without a doubt that this is not a goodbye and that we will be lifelong friends.



After a hard morning we built up our strength to go to a visitation for some dear friends who lost their 19 year old son on Friday. Randy and Lisa Helms were one of the very first couples I met at St. James. Lisa and I volunteered doing media together (she taught me everything I know) and Randy does lights on Sundays. Their sweet daughter Hayden was a program attendant in our wedding and I love their family more than words can say. We waited in a very long line among people who love their family to hug their necks and share their prayers for the family. It came to our turn and we hugged their necks praying for God's strength to cover them in this time and in the days and weeks ahead when the visitors, food, flowers, and phone calls don't come as often. I walked through the line and looked at all the pictures of Hunter throughout the years and was so clearly reminded that we never know how much time we have or how much time we have with those we love.

So I picked up my little munchkin from my sweet friend Abbey and held him tight. I went to youth and got ice cream with sweet Caroline in my small group. I put my little one to bed and slept quickly after an emotionally exhausting day. Today we will go to the funeral and Chris will play and sing "Cry Out to Jesus." I just wanted to attach those lyrics because everyone of us can relate to the words and my prayer is just that we all realize how much we need Jesus. Yesterday Brad's sermon the line he kept mentioning was "It's all because of Jesus." He was referring to all the many things he has seen in his time at St. James. But today I can say that it is all because of Jesus that the sanctuary will be filled with people who love Randy, Lisa, Hayden and Hunter. It is only because of Jesus that the Helms will be able to get through this incredibly difficult time. It is only because of Jesus that we are here, that we have freedom, that we can feel love. So read these words and I hope they touch you today.

"Cry Out To Jesus"

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight