Friday, August 10, 2012

Hard Honesty

A week ago I would have told you that motherhood has been far easier than told, expected, and anticipated. Hutton has been a great sleeper, eater, incredibly happy disposition and cuter than I could have imagined.

I feel guilty even saying this, but the reality of the challenges of motherhood hit hard.

For over a week we have had lots of sicknesses rolling through our house. The worst of it hit Hutton Monday. I picked up a pale, unresponsive, heaving, coughing, throwing up bile, boy who seemed lifeless and whose eyes rolled in the back of his head. I was terrified. I tried to be strong. I rallied the family troops, made a plan, and then sat in my car holding him crying my eyes out and praying he would be ok.
It's been a hard hard week. My baby who rarely fusses spent a whole day crying. I was home with him but I gave in and called Chris to come help me for 30 minutes so I could finish getting ready. It was the first time I really felt I had no idea what I was doing. My little bugger had a stomach bug, a cold, an ear infection, and a fever that came and went. He was worn out, I was worn out. I used up almost half of my remaining time off, I missed a wedding party, we missed our first night away together, I missed girls night out, I missed sewing class. Don't hear me wrong- I willingly traded all that to be home with my sick munchkin and comfort him but it wore me out.

Well today the worst of it has passed, Hutton went back to school and I went back to work. I'm worn out, but looking forward to maybe our second date night since Hutton was born. I'm looking forward to a weekend of rest and rejuvenation come Monday morning!

For those of you that knew, thank you for the prayers. I truly had never been so terrified as when I picked him up Monday morning. For those of you that called, texted, visited, or brought me dinner- you're truly the best! It was greatly appreciated!

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